Word of the Day: See-saw
by erika
Hi Friends,
I am missing you, and this place I have carved out for us, this time together. I am not certain if I should wake up 45 mins earlier so I can get a “word” in before this little man wakes up or enjoy the sweetness of sleep. All I know is that my days are better when I start them off with language and time and I need to figure out how to get back to that. As I look for balance in all of my relationships, I know I have to first find it in myself. And writing is a primary equalizer for me.
word of the day: see-saw
The teeter-totter seems/sounds like the wrong instrument for self regulation, but when called by its other common name, the see-saw, it is a sweeter smelling rose to pin to my lapel. I like its sound, its lilting donkey laugh of a name, (see-saw, see-saw), its reduplication ( “where a word or syllable is doubled, often with a different vowel”). I love how the language of the word imitates its purpose, repeating a thing with variation just as the action of see-sawing does. But more, I love its sense of time and memory and its internal desire to make sense of the past and the future simultaneously. To both see into the future and to balance it with what one saw in the past…ahhhh…this is my quest. How do I come to the things I once had–good knees, pre-baby time/personal space, breasts that don’t drift like the dunes–without lament, without regret? How do I come to the things I now need with new perspective that isn’t about “getting my time BACK” or “my body BACK,” but about getting my time NOW and my body NEW? How to see what I saw and to see what remains to be seen without jarring my neck at the top or the bottom? I have talked about teeter-tottering before, in relationship with others, but when I think of my own inner fulcrum, I am less patient and more bottom-heavy. This is where writing helps. It gives perspective of past and future and allows them to exists on the same line. And so I think I have answered my opening question about sleep. “Get up Trinity.” Get up and write. see-saw.
Love to all,
not-so-silent e
such a hard choice when one is a new mama. sleep or write. sleep or dance. sleep or yoga.
ahhhhh- you remind me to enjoy bite size moments. Taking the sweet time- tonight- to catch up on all your delicious blogs- while my little man sleeps. Instead of going to bed myself, I am filling my cup with your words instead. right choice.