the e-dict

…from the imagination of Erika Anne Randall

Category: Word of the Day

a not love note from 96 year-old me

Dear erika, what is that buzzing in your brain? Is it sadness…frustration…impatience…jealousy…? You want a signature snap? Then rub some flesh together until it pops. You want to look as strong as that young beautiful woman next to you in yoga? Stay on your mat. (and get your eyes off hers). You want to feel […]

love letter from 92 year-old e

Dear Erika, First morning in a long while that you have been up before the sun. The quiet of your home is a gift you haven’t opened in months and months. And after last night’s bullying brawl, I can only imagine how eager you are for calm, as your inner voice says, “Oh shut up, […]

Love letter from 99 year-old me

Dear One, What do you need today? Forgiveness? done. Still need more? Dammit, I thought I could get off easy this morning and spare these old crooked bridges a moment of arching from one vowel to the next consonant. You want me to list your “sins,” make a numbering from 1-211 of how you aren’t […]

love letter from 101 year-old me

good morning, kid. A good day to be up early. With the birds, as they say. But why so early today, you? That strange dream? That anxious push? That fear you won’t get it all done? Which bird are you trying to beat to the worm? Remember that time in your 40s when you hated […]

love letter from 97 year-old me

Morning, lady. I think it’s so cute how you get all brave and say something pithy or punchy in a room full of folks and then suffer the guilt and shame of your own poison more than the intended. I should say, it was cute…but you’re too old for that shame shit now. It’s about […]

love letter from the cave of my heart

Dear me, dear dear me. Hello, kitten. come on back from that edge. it’s nothing, this recent thing that feels like everything. As one of your beloveds says, “be nice to my friend.” You know it’s me you are talking about when you trash talk yourself? Me! Little old, stooped over me! Why would you […]

love letter to myself from 97 year-old me

Dear Darling, Whew. What a time. I don’t know what else to tell you but keep going. And to stop. You have before you a pair of docks. The one to the right is rickety, needs fixing, and has a an old fishing boat tied up to its side by a slime green rope. Its […]

love letter to myself

Dear Erika, So tired, you. But get up anyway. I have exciting news! You’re still alive! This (thing that is taking all of your time and emotional resource) doesn’t kill you! OK. Now that that’s out of the way, let me tell you why I really took pen to paper…to remind you that you are […]

letter to myself from 86 year-old me

Dearest, Remember how you were told by that stunning grouch of a love, Anna, that you were the most decadent person she knew because of how you cinnamoned your half caf soy latte? You laughed, knowing that you keep your decadence at bay–not only because you can’t compete with mama katy when it comes to […]

when noise goes quiet…a list of things to be grateful for

when i let the 4am noise go quiet (which I can rarely do unless I drown it out with “peaceful piano” on spotify or, better yet, my own rhythmic breathing) I find that there are plenty of reasons to be grateful. 1. my health. except for this random hemorrhoid situation, I’m doing pretty well right […]