the e-dict

Hi Friends,

Last night before sushi sunday I attempted to fill the soap dispenser on the sink. Not a hard job, but a tedious one: first, take out giant Costco tub of dish soap from under sink, put on counter, unscrew small hand pump dispenser on sink, try to hold with left hand while lining giant tub nozzle up with open mouth of dispenser with right hand, have giant tub slip off, get soap everywhere, now try to regain grasp whilst covered in soap, move entire operation into the sink for easier clean-up. Start fresh, rinse off hands and small dispenser, hold  giant tub only, with two hands this time, so as to squeeze and fill faster. Much better, far more stable. Still slow. Stand and wait as amber stream soporofically fills dispenser, get frustrated waiting, stop at 1/3 full. Feel bad about yourself for not having patience and a better technique. Feel good about yourself for at least filling it at all. Wonder if anyone (husband) will notice. Wonder if he’ll notice you filled it or only filled it one third. Leave it for later to go pick up sushi. Completely forget about it until this morning.

When I awoke today the aforementioned hand dispenser was miraculously and completely full!  I am not certain if my half-assed impulse  spurred my husband’s actions as an “I told you so” or as a “here you go” but it didn’t matter. It took two to make a thing go right! It took me starting and him finishing.

word of the day: relay

1. An act of passing something along from one person, group, or station to another.

2. Lay again or differently.

5. A fresh team, as of horses or dogs, to relieve weary animals in a hunt, task, or journey.

I love being on a team, I love passing things off to fresh hands, fresh eyes.  I was talking with my dear friend and mentor, Michelle, last night about this very thing.  As I move into a seat of leadership for next year as interim director of dance, and Michelle sails her leadership off to Greece, I keep thinking about teamwork and when it works and when it doesn’t.

“A camel is an animal built by committee,” I love this quote about the perils of too many cooks in a kitchen–but here’s the thing, I can’t cook. I can chop, I can clean, I sure as hell can’t bake, but I really love to eat. I like a full kitchen, I like a 12-humped camel. I like that my Mr took up my dishsoap baton and carried it across the finish line. I’m a great starter and damn can he close. It’s like that with filmmaking for us–me, all big ideas and him all tightening and detail. It’s like that with the baby– me, all books and milk and no business, him, one song and that baby is asleep.  I love me some less weary dogs or horses at the head of a chase and I love when someone can lay it down differently.

Because here’s what I know–my husband can somehow fill up that soap dispenser waaaay faster than I can, once I get it started. While it is sitting there empty, he is building a more efficient machine that will elegantly and perfectly pour (at warp speed) the orange scented organic soap into the tiniest dispensorial mouth without spilling a drop. He may “relay” his annoyance to me about my inability to find the right tool for a job and get it done meticulously, but I did find the right tool, but my right tool wasn’t a tool, it was a human. It was him, my partner in grime.  I need him to clean-up my mess that will allow me to clean-up his after he cooks for us after I have chopped after he’s shopped after I got my paycheck after he balanced our checkbook and so on and so on. If we could  just remember that relay also means to communicate and remember that the other thing to hand off with the job is the gratitude and say “Thanks,” no matter what side of the baton you are on. relay.

Love to all,

not-so-silent e