the e-dict

when i let the 4am noise go quiet (which I can rarely do unless I drown it out with “peaceful piano” on spotify or, better yet, my own rhythmic breathing) I find that there are plenty of reasons to be grateful.

1. my health. except for this random hemorrhoid situation, I’m doing pretty well right now and offer my strength to those who need it.

2. my kid’s health. made of rubber, that child. it’s incredible we’ve only had one cast so far.

3. my job. because i still dance almost everyday. and i love my colleagues (except the ones who haunt my dreams). and i adore my students (even that one who tortured me who i recently forgave in my heart and then made laugh outside the theatre). and the chance to be an advocate for the arts–even if it’s “only” within the snow globe of the academy, it sure feels transformative and potent.

4. my people. i have THE best people. i love you, humans. i love you, pocket-dwellers. i love you, mess holders. i love you, soulmates. i love you, art tribe. i love you, long-distance beloveds. i love you, you-know-who you-ares. i love you i love you i love you. i couldn’t live without you.

5. my imagination. oh it’s so fun in here.

6. my hard teachers. may you be well. may you be at peace. thank you for the lessons.

7. my gentle teachers. what mentors you have been and continue to be. mrs. waltzmith. miss annette. mr. hord. mr. dean. mr. hintz. sharon. tymn. penny. laura. rip. michael. hannah. kitty. lodi. wade. katiti. susan. mel. candace. karen. sara. becky. toby. nada. onye. miche. thank you for seeing me and believing.

8. my family. born to and chosen. alive and moved on. (O-H!)

9. poetry. thank you, word saints. thank you, alchemystics.

10. this planet. oh, sweet, dear, tortured thing. i love the way you ocean and river and mountain and flower. i love the way you moss and the way you leaf. i love the way you remind me at 4am that my rhythmic breathing echoes your waves and winds, your clouds and quiet footfalls. i’m so sorry. i will try harder to be more gentle. i am so very grateful.

yours,

e