love letter from the cave of my heart

by erika

Dear me, dear dear me.

Hello, kitten. come on back from that edge. it’s nothing, this recent thing that feels like everything. As one of your beloveds says, “be nice to my friend.” You know it’s me you are talking about when you trash talk yourself? Me! Little old, stooped over me! Why would you want to hurt an old granny? So things are not exactly like you would like today, at this moment, but here we are, still trying to be human and there is a gift in that labor. You are letting the patriarchy so far up your snatch right now that you are choosing to become undone by some serious bullshit. You woke me up for this so you better hear it…I want to spank you, tell you I raised you better than that, but you don’t need me to be overbearing… over- bearing …but maybe you do…maybe you do need an overbear? The bear symbolizes your work on a solo journey. There is no predator for the bear (except man) and she reminds you to stand up for yourself (especially to yourself) and to use and make room for your gifts of introspection. Please, today, when words of self loathing creep into your vocabulary, get quiet, take a mini-hi-bear-nate, and cuddle up with that lumbering beast who fears no one, especially herself.

I do so love you and I want you to let go of the extra weight you are carrying right now. (and I’m not talking the pms water weight that is making you crazy and means shit). This psychic weight is not good for my knees or your heart. And I can’t bear it.

Sorry I snapped at you earlier, I’m just tired, but I’m always here if you need me. Just, be nice to my friend. (practice a little “self defense”). She’s all I’ve got.

nooga nooga,

101-year old Erika